It was 2004, and looking back at the ‘boy’ I was then, I want to laugh and cry…

It was clear to anyone with even one eye that I was punching above my weight. Lauren (my now-wife) and I had just started dating, and to this day, I have no idea what she was attracted to.

She might have wanted a change from her previous “bad boy” boyfriends, one being a drug dealer, and then another with a fancy car everyone drooled over (I didn’t even have my license), whereby I was overweight with bad teeth.

See for yourself…

NOW?

I have personally made my fortune with “coaching” – but I barely passed high school; I have no formal training in writing or advertising; I was in “special needs” classes in primary school; I have no special, technical expertise; and, can barely figure out the tech stuff. 

I suppose I’m woefully unqualified for “business.” I doubt I could get a job at an ad agency or marketing company. 

Still, this year, my partner portfolio will sell over $32 million dollars worth of coaching programs annually, and I expect this number to nearly double by the end of this year (And personally profit a few million myself).

At 37 years old, I keep myself in better shape than most ‘fitness influencers’ while also being a father to four daughters.

So, how did I go from an absolute loser who had severe suicidal ideation throughout my life, to the man I am today?

Surgery?

Drugs?

Crime?

Miracle?

I wish someone had come to me in my teens, 20s, and early 30s to tell me the truth.

As far as I know, you only read this because you want more.

More money.

More freedom.

More impact doing the work you love.

And I want you to know that’s OK.

But don’t worry, I went through my “spiritual” chapter, reading all the books, studying the ancient wisdom traditions, chewing-smoking-drinking all the psychedelics.

Only to find that I was in conflict.

On the one hand, I wanted to achieve and succeed; on the other, my ” spiritual enlightenment” side wanted me to renounce all desires, pleasures, and Chanda.

(In Buddhism, Chanda literally means “impulse, excitement, will, desire for”… I can still talk the talk 😉

This conflict made me feel like the donkey between Hay and Water. Unable to decide which one he wanted first, he dropped dead from thirst and hunger.

Pursuing success is a fundamental human endeavor deeply embedded within the fabric of us men.

Society and the cultural narrative today feel like its trying to squash that out of us.

To suck the virtue out of wanting to achieve, evolve and become more.

Trying to quell these desires by telling us we are all equal.

Yes, all of us as humans are equal.

No, we are not equal in the amount of value we can bring to help each other.

Dissatisfaction, we are told, is something we shouldn’t have… I disagree.

This is personal development and spirituality gone rancid.

If I were to be brutally honest, my journey to achieving all that I have today all began with a profound sense of dissatisfaction. 

There was a deep, gnawing dissatisfaction before the six-pack, the millions, and the envy-worthy romantic escapades. 

This wasn’t the mild annoyance you feel when your coffee isn’t hot enough; this was the soul-stirring kind that kept me up at night. I had a deep sense of something being out of alignment, a sense of not living up to my potential.

I was constantly questioning, “What if?” What if I could be more, do more, live more?

Dissatisfaction, as I understand it, is far from being the villain it’s often made out to be.

In fact, it’s the unsung hero of every success story. 

It’s the restless voice inside that whispers, “You can do better than this.” 

This isn’t about wallowing in self-pity or focusing on what you lack. It’s about recognizing that the discomfort of being dissatisfied is a powerful motivator, pushing you to seek improvement to strive for something beyond the ordinary. 

As of this writing, I’m partnered with a couple of dozen businesses. It’s my job to provide them with the strategic answer to grow their bottom line.

And one of the axioms I use is; 

‘We only have two problems in a business, a systems problem or a people problem”

If it’s a system problem, we go to the root and re-engineer the system to bring about the desired result.

However, if it’s a people problem, we need to ensure that we’ve recruited the right person and given them the best support, environment, and training for them to thrive. But they are cut from the team if they still don’t perform.

If you’re not performing, you don’t get a jersey.

As an entrepreneur, I’m a hunter. I only eat what I drag back.

This is why I relate your lack of accepting dissatisfaction to your NOT earning the money you want.

You are not dissatisfied, upset, annoyed, frustrated, and straight pissed off at yourself for not bringing home more cheddar.

Where I see culture going wrong today is that we’re supposed to accept and cheer for everyone, no matter what their situation.

This could be one reason why you’re consciously or unconsciously accepting you’re lack of growth and success.

Self-love is maintaining a higher standard for myself.

There have been many times when my best friends and even my wife have said to me, “Take it easy;” ” You deserve a break.”

Yes, I understand they come from a place of love and compassion. They’re trying to look out for me.

But what if love and compassion tell that person, “You know, you’ve got more in the tank. Push harder, and see where your limits are. You’re meant for more.”

Are you setting your standards high enough?

Are you keeping yourself accountable to those standards?

If not, please do not blame anyone else in this universe; that’s on you.

My spiritual journey of wanting to be enlightened led me to search and study most philosophical schools. I found that Stoicism teaches me the value of embracing challenges and viewing them as opportunities to strengthen my character and resolve. 

They believed in focusing on what’s within our control and using our dissatisfaction as a catalyst to effect change in ourselves and our environment. 

Meanwhile, Existentialism, emphasizing individual freedom, choice, and responsibility, reinforced the idea that it’s up to me to create meaning in my life. It taught me that feeling dissatisfied is not an indictment but a reminder that I can redefine my purpose and direction at any moment.

In real-world terms, this philosophical grounding translated into setting and relentlessly pursuing ambitious goals. The sense of dissatisfaction is your soul tugging at you, wanting to bring you back into alignment.

Dissatisfaction drove me to sculpt a body that many assume is Photoshopped, to build businesses that have given me financial freedom, and to cultivate a family life that’s as deeply rewarding as it is enviable. 

It wasn’t about proving anything to anyone else but proving to myself that I could turn my dissatisfaction into a man I admire.

It was when, in 2013, I moved from Sydney to Dubai…

My wife was six months pregnant with our first child, and I slept on a couch for three months in another country far, far away so I could start a new business. The vision of giving myself and my family a life of freedom drove me to do things I know many will never do.

Upheaving myself from earning a low six figures a year as a Personal Trainer in my twenties to being surrounded by extreme wealth and success in Dubai was my first true realization that “tall poppy” syndrome exists.

In Australia, backhanded compliments and sny remarks roll out of many mouths to cut you back down to size. In contrast, success and striving are celebrated, if not expected, in Dubai.

Where before, I was surrounded by a world that often preached the gospel of ‘be realistic’ or ‘set achievable goals.’ 

I only found that setting modest goals was like setting a trap for my potential—a cozy, comfortable pitfall where nothing grows but complacency. The detrimental effects of these low aspirations became apparent. Not only did they limit my ability to grow, but they also acted as invisible chains that tethered me to mediocrity. 

Aristotle argued that the good life, or eudaimonia, is achieved through pursuing excellence, or arete. This pursuit isn’t about being better than others but about being the best version of oneself. 

Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. 

This resonated with me deeply. If I were to achieve true happiness and fulfillment, my ambitions couldn’t just be high—they had to soar. 

Aristotle’s philosophy had me aim higher, pushing me to redefine my understanding of success and the means to achieve it. It was a call to action, urging me to embrace more substantial, more challenging aspirations that aligned with the highest version of myself.

Breaking free from the societal script that advocates for modesty and ambition led me to some of the most significant achievements of my life. 

It taught me that the real fallacy is not aiming too high and missing but too low and hitting. 

I truly started to embrace the philosophy and way of life that I follow today, which has its underpinnings traced back to two seemingly very different schools of thought: Buddhism and Nietzscheanism. 

Buddhism introduced me to the concept of dukkha, often translated as suffering or chronic dissatisfaction. It posits that life is inherently filled with dukkha, and our desires and attachments amplify this state. 

Yet, dukkha also propels us towards enlightenment, urging us to confront and transcend our limitations. 

On the other hand, Nietzsche champions the will to power, a fundamental drive to achieve, conquer, and become more than we are. This drive is fueled by a profound dissatisfaction with the status quo and a relentless pursuit of self-overcoming. 

It wasn’t until after we moved from Dubai to Bali that I spent the first 2-3 years trying to build my first online business for endless hours each day, only leaving the office to train, eat, and have quality time with my wife and daughter. 

This is where I started to piece together these two philosophies that painted dissatisfaction not as a foe to be vanquished but as a powerful ally in my quest for greatness.

Harnessing this potent force, however, required a shift in my perspective. 

Instead of shying away from negative emotions, I learned to embrace them. 

If you’re anything like me, I would have thought I was not enough…

Not smart enough.

Not good enough.

Not (insert whatever limitation you’re putting on yourself) enough…

This took me some serious retraining, as it was not about silencing the voice of dissatisfaction but about tuning into its message with clarity and purpose. 

It was about recognizing that the discomfort of not being where I wanted to be was merely a signpost, guiding me toward a future brimming with possibility. By actively engaging with my dissatisfaction, I harnessed its energy, transforming it into a relentless drive that propelled me towards achieving the seemingly impossible. 

It became clear that the essence of personal and professional success lay in converting dissatisfaction into a dynamic force for achievement and transformation.

It’s often the silver lining that comes with the death of a close one, it is the stark truth of the finiteness of our existence.

This understanding that we are not promised tomorrow compels me to live today with the intensity and purpose that only comes from recognizing life’s impermanence.

It’s a daily basis that I think of my own mortality.

Maybe it’s because I’m just a sandwich short of a picnic.

But it’s because it puts everything into perspective.

The marriage of urgency with the finiteness of life creates a potent catalyst for achievement.

It sharpens the mind, focuses the will, and ignites a fire in the heart. 

Success, in this reimagined view, isn’t about reaching a plateau of comfort and complacency but about continually setting the bar higher, pushing the boundaries of what’s possible, and never ceasing to evolve. 

It’s meant to be a horizon, a place you move towards but will never reach.

Through all of this, I found the positivity that dissatisfaction feeds into progress.

And that’s what is at the core of our bones.

We want, dare I even say, to make progress.

Without progress, we’re lumps of meat, spitting sounds out of our mouths in the general direction of others. Calling them words in hopes of external validation.

“Success is looking in the mirror and finding peace in being enough while gracefully evolving into more.

Failure is striving towards something that is not authentically you.“

Think of your dissatisfaction as a nudge from your soul, a beam of sunlight cutting through the fog of self-deception.

Clear thinking opens you up to closer contact with reality and to act in accordance with what is truly needed to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to go.

Doing this enough times, you start to create confidence. Which is success memorized.

Creating enough undeniable proof of your own successes transforms your identity.

Your identity shift creates a positive flywheel effect that speeds up your ability to think clearly, be more self-aware, and act with precision.

This is when your ability to earn money… or achieve what you want becomes inevitable.

Because you’ve literally become a different person.

Which is why I believe…

You don’t work out… to get in shape. 

You don’t grow your business… to earn more money. 

You don’t meditate… to be a better mediator. 

You do it. 

Because it strengthens your character. 

Many people think I’m disciplined. 

I’m not. 

I am, however, clear with who I am. 

Saying Yes and No is easy. 

I know what’s aligned and what’s not. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. 

It took me 37 years, a metric sh*t ton of mistakes, plenty of psychedelics, therapy, and seeing more healers than I can poke a stick at. 

“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today”

One of your most important relationships is the one with yourself.

With over 2 years of psychotherapy, my fair share of plant medicines, and wanting to do the real work. A lot of struggles and roadblocks for me were from feeling unworthy.

That is why I strongly believe that you should NOT compromise your self-respect.

Yyvon Chouinard said…

“If you compromise the process. You’re an asshole when you start out. And an asshole when you get back.”

So when you make a promise to yourself, however big or small, strive to keep it. 

Build the person you admire to be.

Earn your own self-respect.

Set your standards higher for yourself.

Don’t lie to the one person that really matters in your life.

Self-control is the chief element of self-respect, and self-respect is the chief element of courage.

This is why keeping your promises to yourself is so important.

Every time you say…

I’ll go to the gym in the morning… and you don’t.

I’ll be more loving to my partner… and you don’t.

I’ll do that thing tomorrow… and you don’t

You’re lying to the one person that judges yourself at every moment… Yourself.

You are the one who knows you made a promise to yourself, and who knows you broke that promise.

From lacking self-control — you lack self-respect.

From lack of self-respect — you lack self-esteem.

From lacking self-esteem —  You don’t trust yourself.

And if you can’t trust yourself…

Who can you trust to do what’s needed to create the money, freedom, and life you want?